Shark Week - The Australian Version

The deadly Wobbegong. And by "deadly" I mean "lazy". Look at it just laying on the ground.

As a child I was really into sharks. I had a cool shark book with pictures which I read about twice a week and a National Geographic video on sharks which also got a lot of play time, although that's probably because every other movie in the house was from Disney so options were limited.

When I was 8 my parents announced they were taking the family on a short cruise around the Florida Keys and the Bahamas. I was 100% certain there were no sharks in Pittsburgh, but goddamn if there wouldn't be a lot swimming around in the ocean. In particular, I was interested in the Wobbegong Shark, which tends to lie in shallow waters and blends in with rocks. All the better to attack it during shore excursions, I thought, given that I didn't have a boat (never mind that it doesn't actually live anywhere near Caribbean).

In preparation for this adventure I judiciously took all the plastic tent poles out of the basement and filed the ends down to a sharpened point on our cement driveway. I was crushed when my mom said I couldn't take my collection of spears on the plane. I had made like 20 spears, and now could neither hunt nor go camping again. I still blame her for ending my shark hunting career before it started. I could have been huge in Japan.

While my obsession with sharks has passed, I still do have a fascination with them. They're such mysterious creatures and are only in the news under dramatic circumstances: someone lost an arm, a surfer got bitten in half, a shark is dating a Kardashian, and so on. This is particularly true in Australia where Great White attacks are rare but still bring back memories of Jaws and the idea that sharks are out to hunt us. (Interesting aside: shark attacks used to be referred to as "shark accidents" since they're not intentionally trying to eat humans). It's no wonder the Discovery Channel's Shark Week consistently gets high ratings.

As it happens, Sharon's parents are in town for a visit and we'll be taking a short trip up to Queensland and the Great Barrier Reef next week. Guess who inhabits the waters around Queensland? My little friend the Wobbegong. Shark-tooth necklace or bust, baby!

*I don't actually condone killing sharks. Animals are awesome.

Dude, you're being very Un-Australian

Australians have a reputation for being really nice and laid-back -- this is a country where people with money walk around barefoot, including in restaurants and shopping malls. 

Of course, most Americans are quite nice. As are most Canadians, Britons, Italians, and the rest of the world's population. In my 30+ years I've found that people are generally not assholes. I know this. Aussies are just your average mostly-nice-but-sometimes-not people. But I still stereotype them as a super-friendly subset of the human race.

A while back I was waiting to board a Virgin Australia flight to Sydney from Melbourne. This flight has never gone well for me: delays and cancellations are the norm. On this particular occasion, they had started the boarding and were literally bumping people from the flight as their boarding passes were scanned. I was one of the unlucky ones and was asked to queue up at the counter to await my fate.

A particularly agitated gentlemen was a few spots in front of me and didn't like what the Virgin rep was telling him. He started getting angry and then went into a full-blown tirade. As the guy dropped f-bombs left, right, and center on the hapless rep, I thought "Dude, you're being very un-Australian."

This perspective has only sharpened now that Sharon and I own a car and drive around on a regular basis. The drivers in Sydney are, simply put, aggressive. Slow down for a second to get your bearings? You'll get a horn blast from the car behind you. Don't jump at the green light quickly enough? Horn.

I expect this behavior in New York, where drivers think the horn is the most amazing invention ever, but I thought things would be mellower here. I want to put an LED sign on the back of the car that we can switch on when this happens saying "You're being un-Australian." Might as well fight to get people to uphold their country's reputation.

On the whole, however, we've met so many wonderfully kind people here. In particular I remember one waitress at a restaurant who, whenever we said thanks for something, such as refilling our water or delivering our food, responded with a heartfelt "You're most welcome" in her lovely Aussie accent. I'll remember that long after the blaring of the horns fades from memory.

Calling all expats! Your help needed!

"Do you want to come live and work in Australia?"
 
That was the message waiting for me when I went to shut down my computer one night. I knew the answer was “Yes” before I even rationalized it to myself. Sharon was on board as well. And so began the adventure of moving our stuff across the world. I figured I’d just hop online, do a quick search for “international movers” and find lots of reviews of moving companies, right? After all, this is the age of transparency, where everything is published and accessible on the internet. Turns out I was wrong: the world of international moving is still a black hole.

And so I spent hours of my life digging through what limited information was available so I could make something resembling an informed decision. In the end I went with a company that I felt comfortable with and, except for getting our stuff a month later than estimated, nothing went wrong.

But there are plenty of stories out there from people who relocated to a different country and had things go terribly wrong with the move. Damaged property. Goods held ransom until you pay more. Movers who lose your stuff and ignore your pleas for help. That’s why Sharon and I launched GoodMigrations: to make it easy to find reputable movers and get educated about the moving process.

 

But we need your help! If you've moved abroad already, please take a minute to review your mover. And if you have a blog, please consider giving GoodMigrations a mention -- we need as many reviews as possible to help future expats (and all of us when we move home some day).